Brenda Lee Rivera

Email: esvetlana2@yahoo.com
My Space: http://www.myspace.com/esvetlana2

Someone once said you have to dress up for what you want not for what you already have. That has inspired me in many ways in my life. Been able to place a target in your mind and been able to accomplish it, gives you an amazing feeling. The feeling of freedom, power, control....is the best thing you can ever feel. Like all your efforts are being recognized only by the fact of knowing you did something on your own. In my background, that is something that Latino women were not usually taught to feel. We generally...are taught to serve, to wait on people all the time. We loose our true selves to become what is expected. I have been living my life to avoid everyone's expectations but my own and walking the life I mapped out for myself. A map which fills up as I go by. No plans but the one thing in mind, my freedom. This means more to me than anything in life, aside from God of course. My decision have not been brilliant, yet I wouldn't change anything I have done. Everything you do in life makes you become what you are in the present. Whichever way this may take you only you can make it worthwhile,and make it a positive event instead of regreting and feeling sorry for yourself. I guess I will say where I was born is irrelevant on how I feel or how I live, but here it goes anyways. Born in Puerto Rico in 1982, in a town called Mayaguez. Grew up in somewhat very crazy family and made it to USA by 1997. Since I was like 3 my life has been full of adventures, not only by the life we lived but also by my imagination. Here is a piece of what my mind has to tell you. I hope my poems could relate to someone far far away who might think the way I do.

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see" - John Burroughs

Freedom

Dedicated to the only man I have loved...

Me Cansé de Quererte

by Brenda Lee Rivera

Eras la joya mas preciada

El día mas soleado y mi corazón te quería sin pensarlo

Eras como una estrella en medio de las tinieblas

Eras mi inspiración, mi razón de despertar,
que ciega estaba

Eras como un tesoro escondido lleno de mis ilusiones

de mi realidad que nunca olvidé

Eras imposible de alcanzar,
eras majestuoso, eras inusualmente
bello ante las luces de mi alma.

Eras el dolor más intenso que he sentido
la fatiga mas grande que alla sufrido
inexplicablemente eras mi ídolo

Eras el que acelerabas mis latidos
cuando el magnetismo de tu piel se acercaba a mí
sin tocarme hacías mis células hervir

Eras mi personaje de fantasía, eras mi creación

Eras mi auto castigo por saber que eras ajeno

Eras la canción de mi película, mi éxtasis con solo rozarte

Eras ignorante a mis sentimientos, eras consiente de mi ilusión

Me cansé de quererte, de idealizarte, de respirarte, de guardarte.

Eres pasado en mi presente
no sé si seras pasado en mi futuro
todavía no decido.

© 2007 Brenda Lee Rivera

Silent Shout
by Brenda Lee Rivera

Where did you go? I want to see you...

I want to feel the light of your eyes...
I want to swim in your soul..and drown with your imperfections.
Where are you? Hiding? Hiding inside yourself...
burried...inside a chest of treasures... knocking...
but no one can hear you...shouting silence...and silence talks to you
Nothing is your best friend and all emotions are numb...breakaway

© 2007 Brenda Lee Rivera

Las Cuatro Estaciones
by Brenda Lee Rivera

Eres primavera, la juventud
la bella flor que acaba de nacer
suave y fresca
que se baña con gotas
de rocío nocturno.

Eres el verano caluroso y húmedo
el alma aventurera
de la adolescencia breve
que se pasea por el agua de los mares.

Eres otoño, etapa larga y difícil
donde se marchita
la flor de nuestra vida
y comenzamos a envejecer.

Eres invierno frío y cruel
que nos hace
comenzar a fallecer
en cuna de cristales blancos y fríos
hasta el final de nuestros días.

© 1998 Brenda Lee Rivera

I am poetry

My reflection...sad, discouraged.
Inside out, words of despair.
Appearance...manipulated by words.
Heart...wants to beat again, frozen, retained.
Logic...talks outside myself, words of unknown beauty.
Brain... unable to comprehend, eyes unable to see.
Soul... chained by insecurity and judgment.
My being gypsy unsure ambivalent.

Conclusion... my imperfections are poetry.

Untitled

What is it
when you feel a nod in your insides
when you can't breathe
when physical pain takes over
but you can't tell what's hurting
when the proximity
of the body heat of another person
makes your blood boil without touching
a foggy cloud of intoxicating tension
and animal instinct possesses you
When you look at each other
the world around you stops
and your previous life has ended
when your heart stops
and now pounds in desperation
when you ache
it feels like unsatisfied thirst
unfed stomach
overwhelming unexplainable excitement
when you realize
that if you can't see him
or be with him
your world has died.
The worst and most delectable pain
hurtful, yet addicting.

My Immortal Dispair

So close yet so far, your words are like snow flakes on 4th of July.
I carry you close, wish you were gone
I'm addicted to the pain, please make it stop

Ugly duckling syndrome is not what I feel,
but yet again you never got me

So much to say and not words to describe
Hate I want to feel, but my love you still have

Hope you look towards my non existant admiration
Like the unhealed pain of my soul

I hoped to find my Joan of Arc and I found a Disguise

Poema a Lourdes

De tu ser iradias coraje,
como una estrella brilla en la obscuridad
Un diamante en bruto y puro
describen tu integridad
Te admiro como se admira al universo
por haber traído un ångel a este mundo'
Te respeto por tu abilidad de cumplir tus sueños
a pesar de la adversidad.
Te quiero por que amas sin interés y por ser real
Me inspiras a ser mejor persona y a tener tu valentía
A DIOS le doy gracias por que en ti hizo una obra maestra
pero sobre todo por el honor de hacerme tu hermana.

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